Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
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