too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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