he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
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