I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
NoShamevember. You game?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
