Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
