We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
