she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Every concussion has its silver lining
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
