you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
there was a trapeze. enough said
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
