He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
