the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
