My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
