There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize