is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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