if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize