You work out of a Hotel?
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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