i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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