Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
