Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
