The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
