oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
