Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
