Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Rumble strips road head = magical
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
