My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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