found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
40s are totally the cure
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
