you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
