If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
