Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
