I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
