Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
