Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
