it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
