there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
