I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
