He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Randomize
