people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
