Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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