Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
