im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
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