he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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