I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I didn't notice because vodka
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
