I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
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