They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
