My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
