You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Acid is not a monday night drug
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
