It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
this will be a night to untag.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize