I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
