just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
