everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
