i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
