youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
