If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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