Joe is yelling at the trees again.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
