exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
