All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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