Apparently you make a good broom.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
