I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
