is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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