so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Randomize
