That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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