plz talk dirty to me
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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